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Goorin Bros.

Tricolor Horse

Yeah, it’s named Chad. No, it doesn’t bench press. But it could—if it felt like it. This is the hat that shows up late, wins the raffle, and somehow gets a free appetizer. Minty green crown, stone bill, and a fringe-covered horse that looks like it’s got VIP access to the velvet rope and the afterparty. Zero effort. Maximum effect. Classic Chad behavior. Warning: may boost ego and vitamin D levels.